You are browsing the archive for Political Humor.

The Three Stooges had it figured out over 70 years ago

October 26, 2011 in Political Humor

When the kingdom of Moronica is overthrown, Moe becomes dictator with Larry and Curly as his aides.  Watching it, I didn’t know whether to laugh or weep because in spite of the comedic format, it’s true for the way our own banana republic of the USA currently chooses its Presidents.

We can change all that, but not until we stop engaging in the two-party farce of the ruling class and nominate our own President from the 99%.

Here is the link to the video:  You Nazty Spy   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg_3qEf3ahU

[Suffer through the initial commercial.  It's worth it.]

Proclaim the Queen!

    What it might look like if David Koch told the Truth about the Keystone Pipeline

    August 24, 2011 in Political Humor

    A David Koch Press Release from a Parallel Universe of what it might look like if David Koch told the truth.

     Obama’s latest declaration of himself as a “Blue Dog Democrat” brings him a little closer to what’s good for Koch Industries and a win/win political situation for me and my brother Charles.  Win/Win for us is defined as Zero Point–that place on the political map where it makes no difference whether Perry wins or whether Obama wins because both of them will give me what I want.

    More important to me at the moment than the 2012 election is Obama’s approval of the Keystone XL pipeline.  Obama’s approval of that pipeline will indeed be a Koch Brothers triumph.  It will put billions of dollars into my pockets.  Koch Industries is responsible for close to 25 percent of the oil tar sands crude that is imported into the United States, and we are one of the biggest refiners of Alberta oil sands crude oil.  Our Pine Bend Refinery in Minnesota currently processes roughly 25% of the tar sands fuel imports to the United States. We also own Flint Hills Resources, LLP, in Calgary, Canada, which is “among Canada’s largest crude oil purchasers, shippers and exporters.

    Then our Corpus Christi refinery is positioned near the end of the proposed Keystone XL pipeline and would be a potential buyer for the tar sands crude shipped through the pipeline. You may remember back in 2000 our Corpus Christi company faced a 97-count federal indictment charging it with concealing illegal releases of 91 metric tons of benzene, a known carcinogen, from its refinery . The company faced liability for three hundred and fifty million dollars in fines, and four Koch employees including me faced up to thirty-five years in prison.  But then George was elected and after he became president the U.S. Justice Department  dropped 88 of the charges. Two days before the trial, John Ashcroft  settled for a plea bargain, in which we pled guilty to falsifying documents. All major charges were dropped, we settled the lawsuit for a fraction of the original amount.

    Now that’s how I like to do business so you can see why I’m still leaning toward Rick, in spite of Obama’s latest declaration of himself as a Blue Dog.  Rick understands the meaning of the word “freedom”.  For example, in the state of Texas I’m been so free to pollute with impunity that Texas  now  ranks as the highest-emitting state or province in the world for CO2 emissions,producing 290 million tons of the greenhouse gas per year.

    I want the freedom to pollute and spoil the entire United States of America–from the Grand Canyon to the Appalachian Trail; from Yellowstone to the Gulf stream waters.  This land is my land–not your land because I can afford to buy any President I want.

    _______________________________________________

    Where does it all end folks?  It ends with you and me–the 80%’ers.  We are the ones with the power of our votes to write the ending to this story.  But first we need a candidate–a real candidate who will represent the 80% instead of the 1% like David Koch.

    Proclaim the Queen!

      Random thoughts about the D.C. Quake

      August 23, 2011 in Political Humor

      It wasn’t enough that a rare strong earthquake with a magnitude of 5.3  hit Colorado last night, a whopping 5.9 magnitude earthquake hit D.C. about 2 pm today.  First thing I thought:  ”I’m glad I don’t watch the TV pundits anymore because if I did, I know the routine for tonight.  They will all be talking about where they were when it hit.  That’s what people do after an earthquake–unless you live in California (and I did for 12 years).  On the west coast it has to be at least a 6.2 before people even notice it.

      But since it’s the East Coast, viewers might be hearing something like this from Chris Matthews tonight:

      You know, you’ve heard that Ge scripted informercial for capitalism rolling out of his mouth, even if you only occasionally flip channels across the NBC/MSNBC spectrum [In the speech Matthews is referencing Obama]. “.  .  . I don’t think that you can say that in Japan or in China, you can’t come those those countries and become Chinese….and look where he is.”

      __________________________________________________

      I can hear those keyboards clicking as the preachers crank out some good ole Armageddon, end-times sermons for prayer meeting this Wednesday and next Sunday: Give me all  your money.  You are not going to be needing it anyway since the world is ending tomorrow.

      Rev. Harold Camping from Oakland CA, prophet extraordinaire, points out that his predictions made back in May came true today.  He managed to make a complete sentence before falling asleep again.

      _____________________________________________

      And of course with all this discussion of American exceptionalism, earthquakes, end-times, we can’t leave without mocking the Mayans.  How could those people possibly predict the end of the world with a calendar that looks like a badly designed dinner plate?

      Proclaim the Queen!

        Shades of Saddam–Where is Gaddafi?

        August 22, 2011 in Political Humor

        Ever the master of the costume, perhaps Gaddafi has disguised himself as Waldo.

        Various Internet media report that Gaddafi is no where to be found.

        If he hasn’t disguised himself as Waldo, perhaps those care might begin searching all the scorpion holes in Libya.

        Proclaim the Queen!

          At last we have a perfect working model of the US Government!

          August 20, 2011 in Political Humor

          Here is Ken with his  model.  It is no wonder that his youtube  has been viewed over 184,000 times.

          Ken’s Woodworking Project

          Proclaim the Queen!

            Suggested Campaign Strategy for President Obama

            August 17, 2011 in Political Humor

            Pass Bill Clinton off as Bill the Plumber from Paint Creek.

            Proclaim the Queen!

              Update on right-wing extremists in Europe

              August 10, 2011 in Political Humor

              Tee'd Off: Right-Wing Extremists Tricked by Trojan Shirts

              Tee’d Off

              Right-Wing Extremists Tricked by Trojan Shirts

              Fans at a recent right-wing extremist rock festival in Germany thought they were getting free T-shirts that reflected their nationalistic worldview. But after the garment’s first wash they discovered otherwise. The original image rinsed away to reveal a hidden message from an activist group. more…

               

              Proclaim the Queen!

                Grackles as the Official Mascot for the United States of America, Inc. Politicians

                July 29, 2011 in Political Humor

                photo crop from Real Austin.com

                Austin, home to the Texas legislature, who like the United States Congress, is selling off our public treasures and Constitutional rights to the highest bidder, is also home to a growing grackle population.

                In fact, it’s not just Austin but most large urban areas all over the USA who have this issue.  You’ve no doubt noticed many of these scruffy birds in large parking lots to shopping centers.

                Grackles are considered a serious threat to crops by some, and notoriously difficult to exterminate and usually require the use of hawks or similar large birds of prey.

                The common grackle forages on the ground, in shallow water or in shrubs; it will steal food from other birds. It is omnivorous, eating insects, minnows, frogs, eggs, berries, seeds, grain and even small birds and mice. Grackles at outdoors eating areas often wait eagerly until someone drops some food. They will rush forward and try to grab it, often snatching food out of the beak of another bird. Grackles prefer to eat from the ground at birdfeeders, making scattered seed an excellent choice of food for them. In shopping centers, grackles can be regularly seen foraging for bugs, especially after a lawn trimming.

                SOURCE:  WIKI

                __________________________________________________________

                Because of their opportunistic nature and scruffy aggressiveness, I nominate them as the perfect politician bird.

                Proclaim the Queen!

                  Searching my own belief system for information about George Washington

                  July 5, 2011 in Political Humor

                  I ask my brain:  OK, what do you know about George Washington?

                  and this is what I retrieved from my long-term memory.

                  • In second grade, Mrs. McClellen told us on February 22 that George Washington was our first president and that he chopped down a cherry tree, but when questioned by his father, he said “I cannot tell a lie.  I did it.”  I also remember coloring cherries that day. [I remember somewhere along the way later in life hearing that the cherry tree was a myth.]
                  • He wore wooden dentures [although recently I recall reading that this was not true.]
                  • He was the general in charge of the Revolutionary War [I remember reading some where in the past couple of year that he charged the government for a lot of unnecessary stuff like fancy wine etc.]
                  • I associate him with Valley Forge and the cold winter and crossing the Delaware, although I don’t remember the significance of that.
                  • He was our first president.
                  • I remember recently reading that George Washington’s wealth if translated into today money would be $500 million thus making him the biggest plutocrat of all.

                  ___________________________________________________________

                  Remarkable!

                  I don’t remember when or where he was born.

                  ______________________________________________

                  New data to stuff in my George Washington file

                  Facts I didn’t know but learned today from WIKI about Washington:

                  He was born Feb 22, 1732 in the colony of Virginia, Westmoreland County .  Washington was born into the provincial gentry of a wealthy, well connected family who owned tobacco plantations that used slave labor. He was home schooled by his father and older brother, but both died young, and he became attached to the powerful Fairfax clan, who promoted his career as a surveyor and soldier. Upon his father’s death Washington inherited Ferry Farm and upon his brother’s death he inherited Mt. Vernon.

                  Washington married the wealth widow Martha Dandridge Curtis that greatly increased his property holdings and social standing and made him one of the wealthiest men n Virginia. He acquired one-third of the 18,000 acre Custis estate upon his marriage worth approximately $100,000 and managed the remainder on behalf of Martha’s children.  He frequently bought additional land and was granted land in what is now West Virginia as bounty for is service in the French and Indian War.  By 1775 he had doubled the size of Mt Vernon to 6,500 acres and increased his slave population to more than 100 persons.

                  Washington was a true plutocrat who lived an aristocratic lifestyle–fox hunting was a favorite leisure activity.  Patsy Custis’s death in 1773 from epilepsy enabled Washington to pay off his British creditors since half of her inheritance passed to him/  From 1768  to 1775, he invited some 2000 guests to his Mount Vernon estate, mostly those he considered “people of rank”. As for people not of high social status, his advice was to “treat them civilly” but “keep them at a proper distance, for they will grow upon familiarity, in proportion as you sink in authority,

                  The anecdote about the cherry tree was first reported by biographer Parson Weems, who after Washington’s death interviewed people who knew him as a child. The Weems version was very widely reprinted throughout the 19th century, for example in McGuffey Readers. Moralistic adults wanted children to learn moral lessons from the past from history. Joseph Rodman in 1904 noted that Weems plagiarized other Washington tales from published fiction set in England. No one has found an alternative source for the cherry tree story, thus Weems’ credibility is questioned.

                  He died in 1799 at the age of 67

                  He had no children.

                  Washington was extremely tall: 6 feet 2 inches.

                  Oh and the Crossing of the Delaware? That was important because it restored the morale of the American troops and re-established  Washington’s leadership as a General.  The Americans crossed the Delaware and took 900 English soldiers prisoners.  At the time, the Americans were in retreat and were badly in need of food and supplies.  By crossing the Delaware they turned the tables on the British.

                  Proclaim the Queen!

                    Meet a Hilarious American Satirist: Greg Uchrin

                    June 27, 2011 in Political Humor

                    I don’t know how I missed his satire all these years but let me introduce you to Greg Uchrin in case you too have been missing his great satire and cartoons.

                    Intravenous Caffeine – Totally Unfair and Completely Unbalanced

                     

                    About Greg

                    Pastel Self Portrait

                    Greg Uchrin is a transplant from New Jersey into the Washington DC area. He graduated from the Catholic University of America (CUA) with a BA in Dramatic Arts. While an undergraduate at CUA, he received a staged reading of his play “Can’t Forget About Air Bubbles” at the New Playwrights Theater in DC. He later received an MA in Medieval Studies at CUA and has completed all the course work for his doctorate. His resume includes stints as a bartender, a videographer and several years at the Student Loan Marketing Association (Sallie Mae), where he worked in internal publications as an editor and graphics artist.

                    With the start of the Iraq War in 2003, he began an original political cartoon website, HAIL DUBYUS! at http://blogs.salon.com/0002786 which has now moved to its present location at http://www.haildubyus.com. Although HAIL DUBYUS! contained no X-rated material, it has the dubious distinction of having been rated “Adults Only” both in the Google and (temporarily) in the Yahoo image search engines (and is now virtually absent from Google’s engine) due to unacknowledged complaints from unknown sources.

                    Since we no longer have to put up with the Emperor Bush, Greg has started this new site which will, hopefully, be less narrowly focused on politics and will comment on with cultural and social issues as well.

                     

                    Proclaim the Queen!